Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
