I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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