**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
