Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
