i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
