It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
