I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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