By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
