we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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