Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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