Kiss
Puke
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
