how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
