I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
