She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
