i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
