I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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