a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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