if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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