Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
