this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
