I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
