i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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