Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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