I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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