it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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