if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
