I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The Olympian is in my bed
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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