Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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