i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
