bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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