God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
