Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
