I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
