after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
