Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
