Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can't put those talents on a resume
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
