he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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