Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
