I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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