the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
