Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just cut my nipple shaving
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I supernannyed him into submission
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
