i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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