out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
