he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
