And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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