My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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