Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
