He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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