Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
