I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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